Are Your Kids Lacking Confidence? Here's What You Can Do to Help Them

There are loads of kids out there who are afraid to connect with new people and hardly ever put their hands up when the teacher asks a question, even if they know the answer all the time. A little bit of confidence can take them so much further in life and in their studies, as well. As a parent, it is your responsibility to support your son or daughter in developing a healthy confidence that will help them achieve their goals and realize their dreams. If you don’t know where to start, you will find a few tips below.

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Socializing

If your child is happy and content in their family environment, but shy in school and playgroups, it might be time to go out socializing with them. Even if you only visit friends or neighbors, it will help them develop the skills and the knowledge to talk to different people. You can also try taking them to the local library club or to work with you for a couple of hours, so they will get used to different environments and faces from an early age.

Meeting People of All Ages

While your kids might be familiar with you and your partner, as well as kids their age, they would probably feel nervous around an older person, especially of their grandparents live far away or are no longer around. It is important that they learn how to connect with people of all ages, including teenagers and the elderly. Give them some tasks, such as taking a letter over to next door that was delivered to you, or even send cookies with them, so they can gradually build their confidence.

New Environments

If you have recently moved house and your child is struggling with getting used to their new environment, it might be a good idea to help them explore and get familiar with the place and the new people. If their confidence has been knocked back because they lost their old friends, you might need to be there when they make new ones. Take them to the local park and talk to other moms. Once your child knows that it is safe to talk to new people, they can’t help but copy your behavior.

Connecting with Animals

If your child is withdrawn among other kids and people, you can help them deal with their emotions and fears by letting them connect with animals. Even if you can’t get a pet yourself, you can borrow a dog from your friends, take your little one to a petting zoo, or sign up for horse riding classes. Shy kids usually open up and flourish among animals, as they don’t feel the pressure to fit in.

Drama Lessons

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If your child has issues with communication and expressing themselves, it is a good idea to find a drama club for kids nearby. Find a class that involves sensory motivation, dance, singing, and acting as well, so later your child can choose which one they prefer. Drama can boost any child’s confidence, as they can succeed in communication and track their own progress. Many kids have come out of their shells after starting drama. They are also likely to receive positive affirmations and praises.

Speech Therapy

If your child is shy because they have a speech problem, you will need to find a professional to tackle the issue as soon as possible. Kids’ brain is fluid at an early age, and they can learn new ways and habits easier. Search for a Speech Therapy practitioner in your local area, or get a referral from your child’s school or doctor. You want your child to be able to communicate without worrying about bullying and mockery.  

Puppets

Do you remember Darci Lynne, the winner of America’s Got Talent? She used to be a shy girl, and she won a talent competition. You can use the same method to help your child express himself through the puppets. If they are dealing with difficult emotions or would like to escape from the noisy classroom and reflect on life, giving them a puppet will help them more than one way.

Positive Affirmations

As a parent, you will have to be mindful of your child’s emotions, sensitivity, and fears, and make sure that you are not making matters worse. Use positive affirmations and praises, even if they feel like they always need to match the expectations of their peers. While it is impossible to protect your child from negative comments at school and in their peer group, you can compensate the effect by giving them praises and boosting their confidence.

Learning Support

If your child is a slow learner, or is struggling in school, they are more likely to become withdrawn. You can get a private tutor or get them in additional classes where they can catch up with the rest of the pupils and celebrate their achievements. Sometimes kids can’t help but compare themselves with others, and feeling inferior doesn’t help them develop confidence.

Sports

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Apart from drama and horse riding, sports can help your child think more positively about themselves. You will have to find a sport they are interested in and will be likely to engage with for a long time. If they can become better than the majority of boys at football, they will have a confidence boost every time there is a game in school. Competitive and team sports are the best for kids with low confidence.

Whether you know what caused your child’s low confidence or not, there are plenty of ways you can help them come out of their shell and flourish. Find an activity they can engage with and get good at, so they receive praises and positive affirmations. Lead by example and show them how to connect with people from all walks of life and of different ages. Confident kids get further in life, when it comes to career choices and progression, decision making, or even choosing a future partner.

Helping Shy Kids Come Out Of Their Shells

We all coo and aww when we introduce our kids to someone for the first time and their reaction is to go red in the face and retread behind our legs to peek out from a safe distance. It’s adorable… But could it impede their social development? Many kids, even very young kids are outgoing and vivacious yet some are very shy especially around adults. Shyness is by no means a sign of social incapability, nor is it a black mark against your parenting and rarely is it cause for concern or a precursor to a specific social anxiety disorder. Nonetheless, some parents may worry that their kids’ inherent shyness may be an impediment to making friends or cause them to miss out on the social development that can be extremely important in children. If this is a cause of anxiety for you, here are some strategies to help you to bring your shy child out of his or her shell so that the whole world can fall in love with them just like you have…

Don’t force them into social situations

A “deep end experience” is rarely the best environment for a child to spontaneously develop social skills. Most shy kids are highly sensitive and strongly affected by their environment. Forcing them into a situation like a party where there will be a lot of sensory input from bright colors and loud noises to unfamiliar foods or (Heaven help us all) a party clown will be upsetting for them and force them to retreat further into their shell. Confidence cannot be forced, it has to grow in its own time.

Sign up to classes

Mastery builds confidence. Even shy kids are very comfortable talking to you about what they’re doing while playing with their toys and the intricacies of the relationship between Spider-Man and Barbie. This is because they are creating their own world, a world over which they have total mastery. It behoves us, then to build opportunities for them to gain some mastery over real world skills that will build confidence. Sign them up to an activity, a sports class or encourage them to learn a musical instrument- check out these easy to learn ukulele songs at easyukulelesongs.com. This will help them develop their confidence in themselves and their abilities and hopefully allow them to make some new friends, too.

Get yourself social

Not always but often, shy children come from shy and insular parents. If your kids don’t get to see how you interact with others they won’t have a healthy benchmark for how to behave in social situations. Just as you are the arbiter of general health in your home, you should also model good behavior in a socially busy environment. Keep this in mind the next time you meet up with friends. Take your kids with you or invite friends over to your place. They might be alarmed by the presence of an unfamiliar adult at first but it won’t take long for their curiosity to be piqued and they might just learn that social situations aren’t so scary after all.

Helping Your Child Through Their Pre-Tween Years

Each stage of your child's life requires a steep learning curve as a parent. From finding the right baby bottle that your little one will drink from, all the way through to picking the right college, each stage is fraught and met with a lot of home truths, but also you learn so much as a parent. With each stage and development, you try your best to be there for them every step of the way, but there are some things they are going to have to experience without you being there to protect them. The pre-tween years, roughly between the ages of 8 and 10, goes through many significant developments in their life. Of course, this term “tween” is something that was coined by a marketing firm, but it's a very handy term to define as a difficult period before the teenage years set in. Your child is going through elementary school, and are learning, not just the basics as far as reading writing and arithmetic are concerned, but they are still unsettled in their own bodies. So, as a parent, is there anything you can do to help navigate your child through their pre-tween years, to ensure a well-rounded person, but also, what are the common emotional difficulties pre-tweens face?

Body Development

It's unclear as to why, but girls as young as seven are starting to develop in a physical sense quicker than ever before. Some girls are going to develop early regardless, but it seems to be more commonplace now. As a result, advancement in their body means early onset of body image issues. Feeling self-conscious is commonplace in every child, and as we all know, it can develop long into adulthood, and could even remain for the rest of our lives. But, the important thing for you to do as a parent in order to ensure this transition is met with as minimal self-consciousness as possible, is to shift the focus away from these generalized body issues. It can be helpful to say that “all your friends are going through the same thing”, but this is such a cliché that your child is unlikely to heed your advice. And as children end up being put in situations where they feel exposed, such as the changing room, or swimming lessons, this feeling can be amplified. As a result, you can help to improve the situation for your son or daughter, you can buy swimwear for children that are modest or not as revealing, which may help to soften the issue. As girls will begin to feel upset about the fact that they are developing so fast, but are still approaching the situation as a child, what you can do is to take the focus away from bodily appearances, and go towards the things that make your child individual. Things like a sense of humor, specific skills, or personality traits that make them unique and wonderful.

Trapped Between Childhood And Teenage-Hood

It's a difficult age, between 8 and 10, because not only are they developing at such a rapid rate, physically and emotionally, but they are at an in-between age where they want to emulate children slightly older, but early school memories still loom large. Now, with the prevalence of social media, and the media in general, providing such an influence, it's almost forcing children to grow up quicker. It's vital, as a parent, to let your child be a child. This means encouraging the act of play. At this point, you don't want to be forcing too much in the way of life structure. The fact that they're going to school Monday to Friday should be structure enough. And while they're still learning their own abilities, it's important for you to encourage all of these different explorations. From their intellectual exploration, to their physical play, but also their creative leanings. Now, technology is advancing at such a rate that it's forcing everyone to overthink and to grow up well before they need to. And it could very well be that you've given your child a phone for necessity, but that's not to say you shouldn't impose limits on texting, phone time, and internet use. At this age, playing in the backyard can begin to lose its allure, and the internet, and its various features are incredibly attractive to a child at this age. And while these activities are predominantly teen-related, the influence of older children forces these kids to begin to emulate these behaviors. What you can do as a parent is to encourage play and discovery as much as possible, before the emotional and mental barriers (that every single one of us has set up in our teenage years) becomes a defining feature of our psychological makeup.

Use Your Parenting Time Wisely

As any parent of a teenager will tell you, you've essentially lost them for a few years as soon as they turn 13. At this key stage, between the ages of 8 and 10, every child is still close to their parents, and at this point, you should do what you can to cement a solid relationship. Of course, now, it's very difficult to do so, because we are working parents, and so we rely on breakfast clubs, after-school clubs, and the like. As a result, our children can feel like they have a closer bond with their teachers than they do with us. So, while the novelty of them being excited to see us when we come home is still fresh, we have to take advantage of this. This means playing with them, doing their activities with them, but also, developing that trust. We need to ensure that our children can come to us if they have problems. Many emotional issues will arise at this key stage in their lives, and they will begin to feel upset about certain social issues in school, or in life, and you need to be the person they should talk to. When they become a teenager, they can be a closed book, and so, it's this vital point in their life that you have to make more time for them than you have before, as it will serve both of you well.

Helping your child through their pre-tween years is a considerable challenge, but one that is definitely beneficial in the long run. They say the teenage years are the key time period for development, where they find out who they are, but it is the pre-tween years where you can still guide them towards a well-rounded life.